This post is by Jill Miller.
One thing I have always struggled with is being an incessant fixer. If there’s a problem or something that needs organizing, big or small, I strategize. It doesn’t even matter if it’s my problem to fix, it’s just something innate in me. I’m a natural problem solver, and this ability has allowed me to start a successful business, manage a crazy blended family, and juggle it all while teaching full time.
However, a major downside to the “fixer” (and why I struggle with it) is that I’m not very patient. It is grueling for me to wait on solutions when I believe them to be so obvious and attainable. I often joke that when I die, I could totally be God’s consultant because my ideas are so amazing! HA - joke’s on me!
Patience, waiting on the Lord, is truly an area that I have to work on every single day. Likewise, worry and anxiety are things that tend to overtake my heart far more than I care to admit. Controlling the outcome of situations and knowing there is a solution are two ways I manage my anxiety and maintain peace. While managing worry and anxiety is absolutely healthy & important, without boundaries, it can very quickly turn into control.
What I mask as “efficiency” causes me to rely on myself and the predictability of life far too much. And if things don’t work out as planned, wellll, let’s just say my lack of control exacerbates my anxiety, and I am not the most pleasant human.
While this is a hard reality for me to face, I am learning to turn control over to the Lord. My ability to find solutions isn’t a bad thing, it’s a gift. But it’s one that can cause me to forget how much I need Him in every moment of every day.
I usually pray each day before I dive into my time with the Lord. It’s the perfect amount of time for my coffee to hit my bloodstream and awaken my brain enough to process words. The other day, I was running through my list of thanks when I realized how many things I was praying for that lied in the future - things that hadn’t happened yet, but that I was of course already strategizing and worrying about.
I had been making my way through the New Testament and I was still at the very beginning - in Matthew 6 (I’m a super slow reader). As I read through, two things really stuck out to me. One was Matthew 6:11 in the Lord’s Prayer, “Give us TODAY our DAILY bread.” and the other was Matthew 6:34, “Therefore do not worry about TOMORROW, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
There it was . . . so obvious to me. I had just spent a good 20 minutes praying and talking with God about all of my tomorrows. Everything I was worried about and hoping for was all laid there before him. Don’t get me wrong - this isn’t bad - to lay our cares before Him. But I was only focusing on the TOMORROWS, as if there was nothing for me in TODAY.
My desire to fix and control too much has often caused me to miss out on the lessons and experiences waiting for me in the TODAYS. God revealed His desire for me to hand Him my tomorrows, so my eyes and my heart would have space to receive all the goodness He had packed into today.
Today, all by itself, has been prepared especially for you. Rejoice! Because today holds something you need for all the tomorrows. In all your planning, organizing, and taking care of life, don’t miss the TODAYS.
“This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24
Jill is a card-carrying member of a wonderfully nutty blended family and former teacher. After 2 life-changing diagnoses in her family, overall wellness became a focus and passion for her. However, being a full-time teacher made it very difficult to prioritize this passion. Seeing the challenges that all teachers face when it comes to personal wellness was alarming, so she took a leap of faith and started a company called Teacher, Be Still. Through this, Jill works to encourage and equip educators in their spiritual, physical, and mental health. Her mission is to inspire educators & families to seek overall wellness starting with the simplest and most important ingredient there is . . . Jesus.
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